Blogs That Never Became Blogs – Tips for Being Unemployed

While rereading old blog post drafts, I came across a few gems. I’m not sure why I never published them, but since I’m such a kind, giving person, I’m going to share these glorious posts-that-were-never-posts with you. This one in particular I wrote after I quit my job selling cars and hadn’t yet found a replacement job. Enjoy!

I promise I’ve been doing more than getting sucked into Making a Murderer and taking pictures of my cats; although those have been my main focus points. But I have learned some valuable life lessons while being on vacation being unemployed.

One of the best things I’ve learned while being unemployed is how to create an income without actually having an income. This is very simple, and everyone can do it, whether or not you have a job. First, own things. You’ll need to plan for this, so start buying things when you’re employed and have a real income. This is easiest to do when you have a job, but otherwise get a credit card and start charging it!* Next, sell all of the things you own on eBay or Craigslist. You can also hit up your family and friends for old things that they don’t want or need anymore. My real jackpot was when my grandma gave me two large grocery bags full of used books. $12 in Amazon gift cards, baby. You better believe I splurged on myself.

One of the most underrated ways to save money is to move in with your mom. When asked why you would live with your parents after 5 years of glorious freedom and solitude, say that your lake home is being remodeled and you definitely can’t be around manual laborers.

The easiest, but also most difficult, way to make money while you’re unemployed is to win the lottery. The hardest part about this is doing the one thing you need to do to win…buy a ticket. $1.3 billion just for going to the gas station and telling the attendant you want the winning powerball ticket? I would, but I’m so busy doing things like watching entire seasons on Netflix and showering right before my mom gets home so it looks like I did something that day. Ahh well, onto my next plan.

The next tip for saving money while being unemployed revolves around cars. (Surprise!) In June I bought a very fun, but very expensive 11 year old Volkswagen. Let me just say, I got an employee discount and replacing my brakes was still a thousand dollar job. And it took premium gas. And got maybe 20MPG. So I sent it to Florida for a 4 month time-out. This is easiest to do if you have a dad who lives in Florida and works on a racetrack, so your vehicle won’t be subject to Wisconsin winters but still gets regular racecar-esque exercise. If you have a boring, fuel-efficient, financially responsible vehicle, I don’t have any advice for you other than to buy a more fun vehicle.

A text from my dad the day he got back from his winter vacation.

So there you have it. Lauren’s top tips for being unemployed. You’re very welcome for this sage advice, and don’t forget to tip the blogger when you finally get your seven figure job!

*Please do not take this advice, unless you are buying me things.

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